Skyhook - reason for its name

Messages
4,318
#45
Glass hammer, long stand and the fabled tartan paint, 6 ft of fallopian tubing, bag of sparks for a welder, left handed adjustable metric wrench.

All old and heard many times now. Perhaps we should start some next generation ones of them here.

1. Bags for a dyson vacuum cleaner
2. New lead for an LED light bulb.
3. Forum anchor to stop a thread drifting.
4. A long life Alfa suspension bush.
5. A no quibble warranty that Maserati honour !

Yes i know. No one would fall for number 5 :laugh:

Customer service prank calls i have seen over the years working in logistics. Somebody phoning Iraqi airlines in 1990 to make a booking to Kuwait.

Funny and genuine conversation. I wont name the airline but i used to ship human remains by air 3 or 4 times a month. When you make a booking you need to give the airline the actual weight and dimensions of the shipment. The problem with human remains shipments is the weight and dims vary alot so its a guess to make the booking and you then update the details when the coffin arrives at depot. I obviously got the trainee this particular day. Making the booking became hard work but im pretty patient with the trainees.

Me to airline: ive got a human remains booking for you.

Airline: pieces and weight ?

Me: ? Erm its 1 piece estimate 150 kgs for now and i will call you back and confirm the actual weight as soon as it comes into us.

Airline. Ok but i need the actual weight. Can i have the dimensions ?

Me: estimate them at 200 x 70 x 50 cms and i will ring you with the actual dims when it arrives with me.

Airline: i need the actual dims otherwise i cant put the booking through.

Me: you dont. Ask one of your colleagues i book these every week with you. Why do you need the dimensions now when your colleagues just need an estimate until the body arrives with me.

Airline: i need to put the dimensions in so i can work out if it charged on the actual weight or the volume weight.

Me: Can you please speak to one of your colleagues they know how to do these booking.
I can assure you its definately DEAD weight !!

Airline: can i put you on hold while i check with my colleague.

Me: sure no problem.

Airline: ive checked with my colleague amd they have said its DEAD weight too. So i can take the booking.

Me: Thanks very much. I will call you later with the confirmed weight and dims.

I was trying not to laugh by the end of the call.
 
Messages
4,036
#47
We did actually manage to get the ASDA receptionist at the time to put a store announcement out for Mike Hunt to come to staff reception. Thursday night antics were rife. My that was about 1990 I expect!

The receptionist was a lovely girl....blonde of course. Trying to remember her name now as should apologise! I have no idea how we kept a straight face asking her to put the announcement out or that she didn't snag it either. Golden.
 

Wanderer

Junior Member
Messages
499
#51
Tangenting like mad here but...

My partner of 15 years is foreign, speaks better English than me but doesn't always get the 'in' jokes especially if they are from a while back. She comes home from work and says "Can 'lunchbox' mean a man's 'package'?" I told her the old Linford Christie thing and she was mortified.

in the eating area at work some chap had walked in with a fancy sandwich box and she'd said aloud 'Ooh, you've got lovely lunchbox'

Everyone cracked up and she was mortified. And I promised never to tell anyone.