Terrible Jokes Thread

[midlifecrisis]

Shows how out dated that is, Coventry won the FA Cup in 87...

 

[Eightpot]

 

[MarkMas]

I got an award at work for exemplary confidentiality.
At the ceremony I said, "I can't tell you how much this means to me."

 

[happydaze]

It turned out to be 'blind venison' for dinner.

I had no idea...

 

[spkennyuk]

It turned out to be 'blind venison' for dinner.

I had no idea...

Got offered 8 legs of venison in the pub today for £100. I said that too dear.

 

[philw696]

 

[BL330]

Had to google who Keir Starmer is.
Now I know. Only ever hear about Boris out here.
Surely the joke could be applied to Boris too?

 

[philw696]

Had to google who Keir Starmer is.
Now I know. Only ever hear about Boris out here.
Surely the joke could be applied to Boris too?

That's the problem with the media.

 

[CatmanV2]

Had to google who Keir Starmer is.
Now I know. Only ever hear about Boris out here.
Surely the joke could be applied to Boris too?

It's been applied countless times to countless celebs / politicos for about a thousand years

C

 

[Zep]

 

[philw696]

That one is truly terrible.
Well Done Zep

 

[Zep]

That one is truly terrible.
Well Done Zep

I can one up myself.

How does a polygamist hippie count his wives?

One Mrs Hippie, two Mrs Hippie, three Mrs Hippie...

 

[midlifecrisis]

 

[spkennyuk]

View attachment 96047

Joking aside i actually did a Chinese Burns night at the pub a few years ago when Burns night and Chinese new year fell really close together. 2017/2018 IIRC.

Haggis bon bons and various Chinese nibbles were FOC on the bar.

 

[Zep]

Joking aside i actually did a Chinese Burns night at the pub a few years ago when Burns night and Chinese new year fell really close together. 2017/2018 IIRC.

Haggis bon bons and various Chinese nibbles were FOC on the bar.

Did you have to twist anyones arm to try the haggis Bon Bons?

 

[spkennyuk]

Did you have to twist anyones arm to try the haggis Bon Bons?

I didnt tell them which was which.

Chinese / Scottish Russian roulette.

 

[CatmanV2]

Joking aside i actually did a Chinese Burns night at the pub a few years ago when Burns night and Chinese new year fell really close together. 2017/2018 IIRC.

Haggis bon bons and various Chinese nibbles were FOC on the bar.

Mrs C and I spent Chinese New Year in a cheap hotel in Thailand surrounded by Russians. It was one of the most achingly surreal experiences of my life and, once we got our heads round it, fabulous.

Never had so much Black Cock in one night... (1)



C

(1)

 

[philw696]

 

[zagatoes30]

Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean ?

Great condition, low mileage only driven from time to time.

 

[2b1ask1]

Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean ?

Great condition, low mileage only driven from time to time.

You already posted that one Andy, next year!