What makes you grin

spkennyuk

Member
Messages
5,932
At no point is emptying your own cr@p out of a bucket living the dream.

Starting to sound like the Blackadder privy sketch.

I cant remember the exact quote but its along the lines of:

The latest mod con privy with open air waste disposal. " you mean you throw it out the window "
 

Wack61

Member
Messages
8,764
they also have other people with coronavirus , a colleague of my wife has to have a holiday every year so last week they returned from Portugal , both now have coronavirus , I’ve bought this so we can remain as isolated as possible but still able to go wherever we want.

I’m not the wuss many of you seem to be when it comes to dealing with sh|
Hotels have flushing bogs, just like homes. Amazing really.
This has a flushing toilet , electrically operated
 

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Wack61

Member
Messages
8,764
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The little girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet and the wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.
'Thanks,' the girl replied.
The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
'Little fireman,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.'
The little girl thought a moment then replied, 'You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren
 

Wack61

Member
Messages
8,764
A man sees a sign outside a house - 'Talking greyhound For Sale.' He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking greyhound sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" he asks the greyhound.
"Yes," the greyhound replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the greyhound talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story."
The greyhound looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the SAS.
"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one imagined that a greyhound would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired."
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the greyhound.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"£10!!? But this greyhound is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying ba$tard. He's never been out of the garden!!.
 
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sionie1

Member
Messages
1,310
When you allow your children to clean the car, and they use a Brillo pad for the soft top..... or a flame thrower, I’m not quite sure which. seen today in Martina Franca
 

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