Terrible Jokes Thread

spkennyuk

spkennyuk

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5,979
CatmanV2 said:
I ate at Mary Poppins Restaurant last night...

Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious

C
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That reminds me of the little known facts that Gandi before he died he suffered from massive sores on his feet, brittle bone disease and chronic bad breath.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis !
 
Zep

Zep

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9,329
spkennyuk said:
That reminds me of the little known facts that Gandi before he died he suffered from massive sores on his feet, brittle bone disease and chronic bad breath.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis !
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Thats easy for you to say!
 
philw696

philw696

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25,630
The Madam opened the Brothel Door to see a frail, elderly gentleman.

"Can I help you"..?? the Madam asked.

"I want Natalie," the Old Man replied.

"Sir, Natalie is one of our most Expensive Ladies, perhaps someone else"..???

"NO, I must see Natalie." the old guy exclaims.

Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the Old Man, that she Charges $1,000 per visit.

Without blinking, the Old Man reached into his Pocket and handed her Ten $100 Bills.

The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left.

The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie..?!?!?

Natalie explained that no one had ever come back Two Nights in a Row and that there were NO Discounts. It was still $1,000 a visit.

Again the Old Man took out the Money, the Two went up to the room and an hour later, he left.

When he showed up the THIRD Consecutive night, no one could believe it.

Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went.

At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the Old Man:- "No one has ever used my Services Three Nights in a Row. Where are you from Sir"..???

The Old Man replied, "I'm from Philadelphia."

"Really"..?? replied Natalie.

"I have Family who Lives there." she replies.

"Yes, I Know," said the old man.

"Your Father Died recently, and I'm your Sister's Attorney".

*

"And she asked me to give this $3,000, when I saw you"..
 
Phil H

Phil H

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4,193
philw696 said:
It’s such a good job we banned plastic straws.
View attachment 94800
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Spot on Phil, a masterclass in marketing by a someone:

Buy up the world's supply of ppe
Give the world bat flu
Resell the ppe to governments at stoopid prices
Declare that you have the pandemic under control thanks to extensive testing
Bypass all environmental concerns by selling zillions of plastic test kits (which may or may not be accurate)
All the while collecting invaluable data about governments and their procurement strategies (if they had any that is)

Quite remarkable really, I wonder what phase 2 will bring....
 
BL330

BL330

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1,123
That actually happened to a friend visiting Egypt.
A local offered my friend 2 camels for his blonde Aussie wife in her 50's at the time.
 
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