At last...
Hope this does not offend, if so, do not hesitate to send me a PM and I will delete.
An oldie, but made me giggle again today...
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years.
Upon her return, her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time?
Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call?
Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru?
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
OK dad, as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat,
The title deed to a nine bedroom mansion plus a 5 million savings certificate.
For me little sister these gold earrings, and for ye daddy…
the sparkling new flagship Maserati, the Quattroporte that's parked outside,
plus membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....
and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years Eve on board me new yacht in the Riviera and...."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.
Girl, still crying, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant'.
Come here and give yer old man a hug..!"