Terrible Jokes Thread

[stindig]

Did you about the two Spanish firemen?

Jose and …………….hose-b

 

[Wack61]

 

[Wack61]

 

[Tallman]

 

[philw696]

Another thing us Mechanics have to deal with on modern cars is Pigs Pïss.
Running issues on this very low mileage Mercedes Benz E350 bluetec.

 

[midlifecrisis]

*Wire brush and Dettol, from the good morning thread

Billy can tell better than I can.

 

[MarkMas]

An OpenReach engineer stopped me as I was walking past, and asked me the time.
I said it was between 9 and 12.30.

 

[Flint]

*Wire brush and Dettol, from the good morning thread

Billy can tell better than I can.

I've told that joke myself many times, but never as well as a proper storyteller.

 

[Zep]

If somebody upsets you, then you should just let it go

Or, you can leave a cheese slice in the packet on their windscreen so they think they have a parking ticket.

 

[MarkMas]

A professional hitman was convicted yesterday of killing a man in a rice field with a porcelain figurine.

The judge said that he would be "sentenced to life in prison for this heinous knick-knack paddy whack".

(And the judge ordered that the dog that uncovered the body should be given a treat.)

(And then he went out that evening and got a bit drunk.)

 

[MarkMas]

At my age, I'm not sure I will ever find another stable job.

Which is probably OK, as I'm not really comfortable around horses.

 

[Tallman]

 

[Scaf]

 

[midlifecrisis]

 

[spkennyuk]

View attachment 119986

Is that a three phase joke ?

 

[Flint]

No, it's a hippy joke.

Sit crossed legged and go ......Ohm !!

 

[Wack61]

 

[CatmanV2]

No, it's a hippy joke.

Sit crossed legged and go ......Ohm !!

That's Zen. Resistance is futile

C

 

[MarkMas]

No, it's a hippy joke.

Sit crossed legged and go ......Ohm !!

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[RodTungsten]

(Victor Lewis-Smith) “ what weighs 112lb and sits on the end of the bed taking the p*ss out of people?”

A kidney dialysis machine.

Re-discovered his stuff on YouTube today.