Terrible Jokes Thread

[midlifecrisis]

One for Benny

 

[Felonious Crud]

Oh, that would never do; nits are constantly picked on, though they have a right to a quiet life. I wonder what their purpose is - anyone know?

It's a head-scratcher, Phil.

 

[philw696]

 

[MarkMas]

And I cannot believe the swear filter cut out h e l l !

You have to be more creative, you cockwomble.

 

[MarkMas]

 

[P5Nij]

View attachment 121501

And Paul's real name is Jim!

Having bought a vintage Rolls Royce, the budget didn't cover a driver, so I spent all the money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

(Nicked from Pistonheads )

 

[MarkMas]

And Paul's real name is Jim!
...

I did not know that.

 

[spkennyuk]

And Paul's real name is Jim!

Having bought a vintage Rolls Royce, the budget didn't cover a driver, so I spent all the money and have nothing to chauffeur it.

(Nicked from Pistonheads )

A version of the joke i used during my wedding speech.

"I won an ebay auction for a wedding car for the bride. Unfortunately the small print said it does not come with a driver. So i have spent all the money and have nothing to chauffeur it. "

Im sure the wife will be pleased that a joke i told at our wedding ended up on the terrible jokes thread.

 

[Nibby]

I warned him about playing Russian Roulette.
He didn't listen, it went in one ear and out the other.

 

[MarkMas]

I warned him about playing Russian Roulette.
He didn't listen, it went in one ear and out the other.

 

[CatmanV2]

C

 

[MarkMas]

 

[philw696]

 

[Mavster]

This made me chuckle

 

[Nibby]

 

[philw696]

 

[philw696]

 

[MarkMas]

 

[spkennyuk]

I'm looking for volunteers as i have just started the pub Christmas carol singing group. Five of us signed up so far:

Dean, Don, Mary, Lee and I.

 

[happydaze]

TIm, Beavan, Nell are swinging