Terrible Jokes Thread

[TimR]

 

[TimR]

 

[CatmanV2]

I’ve just been called for jury service.
I ticked the box that asked if I had a criminal record .
And wrote in the explanation that I had a Des O’Connor album

C

 

[CatmanV2]

C

 

[philw696]

 

[midlifecrisis]

 

[philw696]

 

[midlifecrisis]

Problems, problems. I'll tell you what problems are old boy. I went to my local tobacconist only to find that it had closed down and replaced by a ladies' haute couture boutique.

Once again, clothes but no cigar.

 

[CatmanV2]

View attachment 123858

No matter how good Bruce Lee was, he's got a lot better since he died....

C

 

[CatmanV2]

Problems, problems. I'll tell you what problems are old boy. I went to my local tobacconist only to find that it had closed down and replaced by a ladies' haute couture boutique.

Once again, clothes but no cigar.

C

 

[Wack61]

I've got a mate who's on holiday in Jamaica

Asked him what the weather was like

32° at 09:30, he sent me this picture


I'm clearing my late mother in laws house out so sent him this reply
6° FEELS LIKE 3° here

 

[lozcb]

Problems, problems. I'll tell you what problems are old boy. I went to my local tobacconist only to find that it had closed down and replaced by a ladies' haute couture boutique.

Once again, clothes but no cigar.

I thought we had a separate sticky for the tobacco section

 

[TimR]

 

[TimR]

 

[CatmanV2]

C

 

[Wack61]

 

[MarkMas]

The Chief Pedant writes:

Just a quick reminder that this thread is intended to be for terrible jokes; the ones that make you groan while you smile.

To qualify, they need to be both funny and groan-inducing.

Non-terrible jokes don't qualify, and ranting, moaning and clever irony about politics go in other threads. (Which have all been closed, because they are so annoying.)

 

[Phil H]

The Chief Pedant writes:

Just a quick reminder that this thread is intended to be for terrible jokes; the ones that make you groan while you smile.

To qualify, they need to be both funny and groan-inducing.

Non-terrible jokes don't qualify, and ranting, moaning and clever irony about politics go in other threads. (Which have all been closed, because they are so annoying.)

MODS

The above post is not a joke and should be removed immediately. On the other hand, mine is a joke, or is it?

 

[Zep]

The intent when I started was for this to be jokes which were so bad they were good (or just bad).

It’s spread a bit since, but it would be preferable to keep it free of the political stuff.

 

[TimR]

****- that’s bleak!