A man turns up at the gates of h3ll
He looks up to see the Devil sitting at a chair.
“Hello my friend,” says the Devil, “How are you this fine eternity?”
confused,the man replied, “I didn’t realise that I was dead.”
“I understand,” says the Devil, “Why don’t you tell me how you got here?”
Well, “I was eating a burrito when I choked. No one was with me and I must have suffocated.”
“Killed by a burrito!” The Devil laughed “What an unjust way to go. Did you at least go out eating a super sized one?!”
“No, just regular size.” The man replied, hanging his head in shame.
“This is even worse!” The Devil cried.
“What can you do about it?” The man replied.
The Devil thought for a moment, “I will send you back. I’m not having you end your life on such a pathetic Mexican dish.
A few minutes another person appears, this time a woman. She looked at the Devil and sighed.
“****,” she said.
“What happened my dear?” The Devil replied.
“I was trying to be environmentally conscious with a metal straw instead of plastic and I was walking with my drink when I slipped forwards and the metal straw landed up and skewered me straight through my eyeball and brain.”
“Wow,” the Devil groaned, “this is a travesty. Helping the planet and you get turned into a human kebab.”
“I’m feeling good today,” he said, “You my dear can go back to your life!”
A few minutes pass and a third person appears.
He was different from all the others. His eyes were lifeless, as if all the soul had been sucked from them.
“Hello my friend,” the Devil said cheerfully.“How did you get here?”
“I was at my computer working,” the man said, “I’d been working for hours doing a thankless job, stood up and tripped over a power cord. I must have fallen badly and broken my neck because here I am.”
“This wont do! Said the Devil. “You were simply pouring your heart and soul into doing your job and died in the process.”
The man shrugged.
“My friend,” said the Devil “ I am feeling generous today. I am going to send you back to your life! What do you say to that!”
The man looked around at the swirling pools of lava and listened to the sound of wailing souls echoing around hellish abyss.
“No thanks, I think I’ll stay in He11,” the man replied.
“sorry what?” The Devil replied
“I’d like to stay,” the man repeated.
“Fine mortal, said the Devil,” but I must know why?”
The man looked up at the Devil, his eyes empty and replied,
“I was a Sports Maserati Forum moderator”
