CatmanV2
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Morning all. Just seen this on the local news. It's *awful*
New Flash: Government sources are confirming this morning that levels of Prosecco in the Essex area are now critically low, and cannot be sustained much beyond lunchtime. The sudden shortage is thought to have been caused when a private birthday part at a house in Harlow was advertised on Facebook, and targeted by a splinter group of the notorious on line collective known only as Sportsmaserati.com. It is thought that group turned up in exquisite sports cars, parked at a jaunty angle and amused all the neighbours with a V8 symphony, before drinking all the Prosecco that could be located. Locals report that they feared the situation could have become 'messy' but for the discovery of hidden supplies of DiSarono, a known weakness of the ringleaders of the group. Local publicans are attempting to local supplies of Prosecco from the home counties, but it is feared that the shortage may well increase prices of a middle class Sunday lunch to levels not seen since Brexit.
Members of the public are informed that they can recognise the miscreants by their exquisite taste in vehicles, amazing good looks and incredible sense of humour. The public should approach them at any opportunity. News Flash ends.
Have a great day
C
New Flash: Government sources are confirming this morning that levels of Prosecco in the Essex area are now critically low, and cannot be sustained much beyond lunchtime. The sudden shortage is thought to have been caused when a private birthday part at a house in Harlow was advertised on Facebook, and targeted by a splinter group of the notorious on line collective known only as Sportsmaserati.com. It is thought that group turned up in exquisite sports cars, parked at a jaunty angle and amused all the neighbours with a V8 symphony, before drinking all the Prosecco that could be located. Locals report that they feared the situation could have become 'messy' but for the discovery of hidden supplies of DiSarono, a known weakness of the ringleaders of the group. Local publicans are attempting to local supplies of Prosecco from the home counties, but it is feared that the shortage may well increase prices of a middle class Sunday lunch to levels not seen since Brexit.
Members of the public are informed that they can recognise the miscreants by their exquisite taste in vehicles, amazing good looks and incredible sense of humour. The public should approach them at any opportunity. News Flash ends.
Have a great day
C
