I sh1t myself once, the ex-mrs in her usual style was cooking bacon by just slamming the lot in the grill at maximum heat and leaving it. I decided to check it, opened the grill door and flames leapt out and nearly took my face off, and let out a little sh1t/fart bubble. Totally involuntary. If I hadn't have reacted and ducked back so quickly my career as a successful male model would have been truncated, leaving me with just the Elephant Man roles CatmanV2 has cornered.
Called the Fire Brigade, this was Annan, SW Jockland, best emergency they ever had, six tenders turned up as did 47% of the population of Annan.