CatmanV2
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Terrible Jokes Thread
- Thread starter Zep
- Start date
CatmanV2
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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door and says
“My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep he hears a strange sound.
The next morning he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say
“We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him and fix his car again. That night he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning he asks what it is but the monks reply
“We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man says
“All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”
The monks reply
“You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”
The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says
“I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”
The monks reply
“Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says
“The sound is right behind that door.”
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says
“Real funny. May I have the key?”
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
The man demands the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.
He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.
Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.
So on it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say
“This is the last key to the last door.”
The man is relieved to no end.
He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.
“My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep he hears a strange sound.
The next morning he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say
“We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him and fix his car again. That night he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier.
The next morning he asks what it is but the monks reply
“We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”
The man says
“All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?”
The monks reply
“You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.”
The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says
“I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.”
The monks reply
“Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.”
The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says
“The sound is right behind that door.”
The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says
“Real funny. May I have the key?”
The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.
The man demands the key to the stone door.
The monks give him the key and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.
He demands another key from the monks, who provide it.
Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire.
So on it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst.
Finally, the monks say
“This is the last key to the last door.”
The man is relieved to no end.
He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.
But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.
Swedish Paul
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Slow reader...Five minutes of my life I won't get back
Saigon
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I was going to reply with exactly the same, but then I thought “no way” there will be sarcastic replies such as why did it take you five minutes to read that, is there something wrong with you and so on. You have to be careful on this forum I know, then I thought what time frame would be acceptable to read it in so as not to justify that reaction, then I just let it pass. But to be honest five minutes does seem excessive. But I suppose I have taken five minutes to write this, (and check spelling and punctuation) you can’t win. Sarcastic and witty comments in coming.Five minutes of my life I won't get back
zagatoes30
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- 20,949
Sad news, my obese parrot died today.
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Usual FB source
Mind you, it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
Usual FB source
Gazcw
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- 7,785
No pictures to help him.
happydaze
Member
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- 574
A piece of string went into a bar. The barman told him he couldn't come in, because he was only a piece of string.
He went out, tied a nice knot, and 'fluffed up' the top a bit. When he went back in, and the barman said "You're a bit of string aren't you?"
He answered: "I'm a frayed knot!"...
He went out, tied a nice knot, and 'fluffed up' the top a bit. When he went back in, and the barman said "You're a bit of string aren't you?"
He answered: "I'm a frayed knot!"...
RSM Masser
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- 2,437
A woman died of Diarrhea today after having anal sex with 6 men in a vintage car.
Police say it was a Pretty ****** Gang Bang.
Stolen from social media - unacceptable but …….
Police say it was a Pretty ****** Gang Bang.
Stolen from social media - unacceptable but …….
philw696
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- 25,488
Childhood memories spoilt
