Terrible Jokes Thread

[CatmanV2]

My mate has called his new twins, Pearl and Dean, after his Grandma and Grandpa pa pa pa, pa pa papa pa pa pa.

C

 

[MarkMas]

 

[midlifecrisis]

He was already a multi millionaire and lost money on this deal until he was only a millionaire

Isn't that a saying 'How to become a Millionaire? start off with a billion and buy a football team'

 

[Scaf]

Isn't that a saying 'How to become a Millionaire? start off with a billion and buy a football team'

More or like being a married multimillionaire, getting divorced and ending up a millionaire, if your lucky

 

[CatmanV2]

Been out metal detecting today found an old land rover buried in a field .....
Was a nice discovery

C

 

[Saigon]

So he bought them in lets say Egypt, Lebanon or Sudan......these countries all use the Pound.

Then he sells them in GBP pounds (which is a far stronger currency)

ie Purchase 40 egyption pounds per ton = 1.88GBP

sells at 10GBP= 212 egyption pounds

converts profit to rand and became millionaire?

Simpler than that, he was a billionaire when he started off.

 

[lifes2short]

 

[happydaze]

I once had a paper shop. However, it blew away...

 

[Felonious Crud]

I once had a paper shop. However, it blew away...

I knew some people had a paper shop. It folded.

 

[CatmanV2]

I knew some people had a paper shop. It folded.

The world origami championships will be televised for the first time today. I wanted to watch, but it's pay per view......

C

 

[2b1ask1]

I watched a program from Birmingham where they reverse engineered an origami swan.

It was sheet!

 

[Nibby]

There I was, eating my bag of Walker’s air and to my surprise I found a crisp

 

[2b1ask1]

Smoking can kill you and bacon can kill you but smoking bacon cures it.

 

[Gazcw]

The 2021 Darwin Award goes to…..

 

[midlifecrisis]

The 2021 Darwin Award goes to…..
View attachment 96517

And that my friends, is how Christy Brown got into the writing game....

 

[Felonious Crud]

 

[Gazcw]

 

[safrane]

View attachment 96521

Andy K will be cheering them on no doubt.

 

[Felonious Crud]

Andy K will be cheering them on no doubt.

As long as his lustful cheers don't make them feel objectified.

#metewe

 

[safrane]

As long as his lustful cheers don't make them feel objectified.

#metewe

He may get lambasted...